The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

Our company has a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration, increase brand loyalty, and enhance intangible assets. In pursuit of these goals, we have started a new project – which we require 7 Red Lines. I understand that your company can help us with this matter. Sure! Walter here will be the project manager. Walter, we can do this, right? Yes, of course.

Anderson here is our expert on all things red-line. We brought him with us today to share his professional opinion. Nice to meet you! Well, you all know me. This is Justin, the design specialist for our company. Hello… We need you to draw seven red lines. They are all perfectly orthogonal; Some are green ink and some are transparent. Can you do that? No, I'm afraid we– let's not rush into any hasty answers, Anderson! The task is set and must be performed. At the end of the day, you are the expert. The term "red line" indicates that the color of the line is red. To draw a red line in green ink is – if it's not completely impossible, it's very close to being impossible. What does it even mean: "impossible"? I mean, it's possible that there are some people, say color blind, for whom the color of the fonts doesn't really make a difference but I'm sure the target audience for your project is not just those people.

In principle this is possible. I will simplify the topic. A line can be drawn in this way with absolutely any ink. But if you want to get a red streak, you need to use red ink. What if we painted it with blue ink? It still won't work. If you use blue ink, you will get blue streaks. And what exactly did you mean, when you talked about transparent ink? How to explain better? I'm sure you know what "transparency" means? Yes I know. And what does the "red line" mean, I hope I don't need to explain to you? of course not.

Well… you need to draw red lines with transparent ink. Can you describe what you imagined the end result would look like? Come on, Anderson! What do we have here, kindergarten? Let us not waste our time in these unproductive quarrels. The task has been set. The task is quite clear. Now, if you have any specific questions, go ahead! You are the expert here! Well, let's leave the color aside for now. You had something there regarding orthogonality? Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular. to what? for everything.

between them. I assumed you know what vertical lines are like! Of course he does. He is an expert! It can be two perpendicular lines. Seven lines cannot be simultaneously perpendicular to each other. I will show you. This is a line, right? Yes really. And one more. Is it perpendicular to the first line? Well… yes, it's orthogonal. exactly! Wait, wait, I'm not done. The third: is it perpendicular to the first line? Yes it is! But it does not cross the second line. They are parallel. Not vertical! I suppose so. exactly. Two lines can be perpendicular can I get the pen? And what about this? This is a triangle. They are definitely not perpendicular lines. There are three, not seven. Why are they blue? In fact. I wanted to ask about it myself. I have a blue pen with me. This was just proving that's the problem, your stripes are blue.

Draw them in red ink! It will not solve the problem. How do you know before you try? Let's draw them in red ink and then see. I don't have a red pen with me, but I'm pretty sure that with red ink the result will be the same. Didn't you tell us earlier that you can only draw red lines with red ink? In fact, yes, I wrote it here! And now you want to draw them with blue ink. Do you want to name these red lines? I think I understood. You're not talking about color now, are you? You were talking about it, what do we call it: vertical oooooo, yeah! That's it, you've confused everyone now.

What prevents us from doing this? Engineering Science. Just ignore it! We have a mission. Seven red lines. Not twenty. It's only seven. Anderson, I understand. You're so specialized in a narrow field, don't you see the big picture. But it sure is not a difficult task to draw some seven lines! exactly. Suggest a solution! Any fool can criticize, it is not a crime, but you are the expert, you should know more better! OK. Let me draw two perfectly perpendicular red lines, and I 'll draw the rest with transparent ink. They will be invisible, but I will draw them. Does this suit us? Yes, that suits us. Yes, but at least a couple in green ink. Oh, and I have another question, if I may. Can you draw one of the lines in the form of a kitten? What? in the form of a kitten. Market research tells our users about cute animals. It would be nice if – no oh… why? Listen, of course I can draw a cat. I'm not an artist, but I can give it a try. But it will not be more than that.

will be a cat. A line and a cat: These are two different things. kitten. Not a cat, but a kitten. He's small, cute, cuddly. Cats, on the other hand – don't make a difference. Anderson, at least hear it! She didn't even finish speaking, and you said "No!" I got the idea, but it's impossible to draw a line in the shape of a cat. How about a bird? So, where did we stop? What do we do? Seven red stripes, two with red ink, two with green ink and the rest – with transparency. Did I understand correctly? – — Yes really.
excellent! In this case that's it, right? Oh, I almost forgot, we also have a red balloon. Do you know if you can inflate it? What should I do with balloons? It is red.

Anderson, can you or can't you do this? simple question. As such, I can, of course, but – excellent. Organizing a business trip, we will cover the expenses, go to its location, and inflate the balloon. Well that was very productive, thank you all! May I ask another question, please? When the balloon is inflated, can you do it as a kitten? ofcourse I can! I can do anything, I can do absolutely anything. I am an expert!.

As found on YouTube

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